Tom: You and I have talked a lot about being
present, and all acting teachers do. They say Be present, live in the
moment, live in the now. But… how do we make that happen? And how
can we tell when we actually ARE in the present?
Austin: Man, this is such a seemingly simple
conversation to have – be present! – but there is so much going on in an
actor’s mind at any given moment that this is way more complicated than it
appears.
Tom: I agree.
Austin: But I’m not sure there is a cut-and-dried
explanation for how to do this.
Tom: I was afraid you were going to say that.
Austin: Sure you can and SHOULD be focused on your
objectives, focused on fulfilling tasks, listening to your scene partners, and
focusing outside yourself, but this is all while doing an activity that you
most likely have put hundreds of hours of rehearsal into so you’re repeating
history, so to speak. You have to be present in an event that has already
occurred. And yet hasn’t!
Tom: I like what you’re getting at: that the best
way to live in the moment - even though you’re saying lines you’ve said hundreds
of times - is to put the focus outside of yourself. Why do you think that helps?
Austin: I think because giving yourself a task to do
– something that can actually be fulfilled and completed – keeps your mind busy
doing what it can naturally do. We live our lives problem-solving, and
most of that is done in real time. We don’t have time to THINK about
something other than finishing the task.
Tom: I like that.
Austin: But I also think there are personal complications
which could be addressed as to why putting focus off ourselves is
important. Do you agree?
Tom: I do. It’s like if we “find” the other
person, we “lose” ourselves. In a sense, we’re tricking ourselves.
Sure, there’s an audience, and yes, we’ve rehearsed this thing to death,
but if we put our focus on someone or something other than ourselves, then yes,
we do seem to become more present. It’s all a great trick, isn’t it?
Austin: A MASSIVE trick! I love that you used
the word “find,” because great acting relies so much on making discoveries.
Tom: Finding something.
Austin: Right.
Tom: But then I come to the question: how can you
tell if you’re present or not? And the second part of that question, what
if you don’t think you are, but the audience thinks you are? (And vice
versa?)
Austin: Wow!
You aren’t pulling any punches with the questions today, are you?
Tom: I blame it on the chicken chili.
Austin: First off, I want to bring up something about
the actor who doesn’t believe in technique because they want it to be all organic
and “in the moment.” They believe working that way—without technique—is
“real” or “present.” It’s like that
great breakthrough in rehearsal when everything fires at once and we all want to
get that again so we believe the only way to do that is to wing it.
Tom: Deadly.
Austin: I know, right? And what happens the next time? Do you
change everything all over again so you can wing it and make that magic happen?
Tom: I love that you bring up trying to re-create the
magic of a previous rehearsal or performance, because we all experience that,
and it’s dangerous. My own opinion is that we shouldn’t copy, we shouldn’t
imitate, we shouldn’t replicate, we shouldn’t re-create, but we can make
adjustments.
Austin: Yes.
Tom: Our intentions will probably be the same, but
maybe we tweak the tactic. Or maybe we
just pay attention to what the scene partner is giving us and it happens to be
slightly different than the night before. And THAT will create our own
life that is different and unique … and present.
Austin: Exactly!
I like to think of it as breathing new life in an existing choice.
Tom: I like it!
Austin: And as for knowing if I’m being present or
not, I think it goes in ebbs and flows.
I mean, we have to remember our lines and our blocking and why we’re out
there in the first place, and most of this is – or should be – second-hand
because of all the rehearsal. But if I’m
focused on what I want and if I’m getting through to the other person, then I
feel there. It’s when I flub a line and
start kicking myself I know I’m no longer in the moment. I’m in the past.
Tom: That’s really true. However, sometimes
you see a play that’s entirely too slick and not “present” at all, and the only
real moment is when actors go up on lines and then you see a real exchange
between human beings on stage. Funny how it can go both ways like that.
Austin: Oh it totally can!! But that’s why we
have to accept that anything can happen, and our ability to deal with it (i.e.,
living in the moment) is how we can make those adjustments.
Tom: Exactly.
Austin: I like what you said about not replicating a
performance. And I think this is were laziness creeps in. It’s easy
to rest on your work and rehearsal and just coast through night after night.
And we all know and have worked with these actors – and, sadly, BEEN that
actor – but what is thrilling about a performance is sending that new action or
intention at every moment you’re acting. THAT is what makes one night
different from the next. Even if on the outside it looks the same.
It can’t be because it wasn’t. It was something new.
Tom: I love that!
And there have been those times when it IS difficult to be present and
alive. I did 350 performances of a play once and there were nights - not
gonna lie - when I struggled with it being in the now. It was tough.
And then someone would get sick and an understudy would go on who wasn’t totally
prepared, and man oh man, everyone’s focus went up a notch and the play just
took off.
Austin:
Because it forces you to get off yourself and it forces you to work
for something and that is living in the now.
Actively pursuing something.
Tom: The word “actively” is huge there. Love
that. You used the word “past” a little earlier and that reminds me of a book
we’ve talked about before, THE ACTOR AND THE TARGET, and a quote he has in
there about living in the now. It’s something like, “The past is about
regrets, the future is about anxiety, so live in the now.” That’s it, you
know. On stage, we just can’t allow ourselves to go either backwards or
forwards - we just have to be present.
Austin: So happy you mentioned that book! I
have to say, Declan Donnelan’s whole chapter about fear and the present is spot
on! I love that he talks about the present as a gift—a PRESENT!
That the past can never be reclaimed and the future can never be known so
all we have is now. Great advice for living, to boot!! But so
crucial for the actor. What are some traps you’ve encountered where this
becomes difficult?
Tom: We’ve kind of touched on one: living in the
past. Trying to re-create a particularly good performance. There
was a show once where one night things just HAPPENED. Emotional, honest, true connection -- all of
it. And the next night I wasn’t as present, but I tried to force it.
And the next night I forced even more. And the next night even
more. And finally my director took me aside and we went for a walk and he
said I was working too hard and I didn’t need to, and actually, what I was
doing before the breakthrough night was pretty good in itself. That gave
me so much freedom that it ALLOWED me to relax and not force, and good things
started happening again. I’m so thankful
I had a sensitive director who pointed out to me what I was doing and taught me
that lesson in a respectful (and gentle) manner.
Austin: You were lucky.
Tom: Tell me about it.
Austin: And what a huge discovery about yourself and
your work.
Tom: It’s true.
And as for the future, well, in any audition where I’m thinking about
the RESULT, my focus is completely screwed up. Instead of thinking about
pursuing intentions, my focus is on, “If I get this job, then I’ll….” You
know?
Austin: Don’t I!! I really love your story
about the breakthrough because I’m fascinated with the desire to FEEL the
discovered sensation over and over again. Can I ask you, was your
forceful work just that, to re-feel that moment, or was it that the sensation
of discovery actually felt NEW?
Tom: Good question. Tough question. I
think the former. This all happened when I was right out of college and
I’d never really experienced emotion on stage, and I must say it surprised me,
and it felt good. You know, it felt like I was ACTING. And so I
wanted that feeling again, probably entirely for selfish reasons. Yes, I
thought it served the play, but if I’m honest, I was probably less concerned
with serving the play and more concerned with showing off that I could access
emotion on stage.
Austin:
I wouldn’t feel bad about being selfish. I think
that’s natural, and I know I feel that way from time to time. If I’m
honest, I think that sensation of feeling is one of the things that draws me
back every time. But what’s great is when we learn to have faith in all
the other work so that we don’t NEED to feel that feeling to KNOW we are
working ... and truthfully acting!
Tom: It’s true. And it’s why I gravitate
more toward the word “personalization” than “emotion,” because it implies more
truthful acting more often. How about you? What are some moments
when you’ve found yourself really present? And moments when you’ve found
it difficult?
Austin: I was trying to dodge this one, but you came
back around!!!
(Austin shakes his fists at the heavens.)
Tom: Gotcha!
Austin: You know, I’ve honestly only felt TRUE
presence a couple of times on stage. I know that sounds odd and almost
embarrassing, but I find it to be something elusive. That isn’t to say I
don’t feel in the moment or truthful on stage, but I had a moment once that
transcended something. I was doing a
show and there was a moment when I was buttoning up my shirt on stage. It was a Pinter play so there was much more
going on than me just buttoning up my shirt, but there was something about that
moment where – as an actor – I was right there. I could feel my fellow
actors. I could feel the audience with me. And I could feel that I
was fulfilling what the character was there to do and it was all happening in
the now. Talk about addictive! Maybe
it was just how everything fell into place. Maybe I had some exceptional
focus that night. Maybe I was actually
not thinking about anything other than what I was there to do and THAT is what
presence feels like, but it was an amazing sensation and one that I chase every
performance. And right there I’m admitting to living in the past!!
Tom: That is gospel, my friend. And what a
great story. No, I don’t think you’re living in the past - not at all.
Because you’re chasing a kind of perfection. That’s not living in
the past; that’s present. You’re not re-creating, you’re using new text,
new characters, and you’re chasing. That’s awesome!! But this all makes me think this is far more
difficult than we give it credit for. If you’re saying you’ve only
achieved it a few times (I don’t believe you, by the way, because I know you’re
an amazing actor), but then why don’t we feel it MOST of the time? It
should be simple, right? Putting our focus on someone or something?
What prevents it? Are we getting in our way? Living in the
past or the future? What?
Austin: I think you just said it all! There are
SO many variables. First off, I’ve said it before, but our egos and that
NEED to please drive so many of us OUT of the present. There are also our colleagues messing with us,
or our own impressions derailing us. Plus,
any number of external forces that can knock us out of the moment. I’ve
seen many an actor actually FEEL something and that discovery kicks them out of
the present. So I think you are spot on to say this IS difficult and
takes MUCHO hard work!
Tom: Amen. And maybe it’s as you said: there
are times we just need to button the shirt.
